Ding Dong Ditch
by angela123111
Summary: People are ringing the Canadian's door for some reason and leaving food behind. Most of the entries will be drabbles until the last one.
1. Chapter 1

*Ding Dong*

Matthew gets up from his couch and walks over to the door. He opens it.

"Hello?"

No one was there. Matthew thought it was strange and then he smelt something weird. He looked down and saw a plate of sausages.

"What the-?" Matthew shrugs and picks it up. "Hmm, I'm going to need Kumapipa to try this first."

He called his bear over. Kumajirou walked over and sniffed the sausage and then stuffed in his mouth, chewed and swallowed.

"How is it?"

"Hmm, drunk jerk."

Matthew looked confused. "Gilbert? Are you sure?"

Kumajirou took another sausage and ate it. "Yep. Who are you?"

"Matthew. The guy who feeds you."

"Oh."

* * *

So this will lead to something. Please review. They'll all be drabbles until the last one."


	2. Chapter 2

*Ding Dong*

Matthew was in the shower this time. He quickly stopped it. He tied a towel around his waist and walked to the door.

"Hello?" He looked around and no one again. "Strange."

Kumajirou sneaked out between Matthew's legs and took the bag, that was really greasy. He then went back into the house.

"Kumahamu?" Matthew said and he closed the door. Afterwards he followed his bear to the living room.

Kumajirou plopped on the sofa and opened the bag. He stuck his head in and started eating whatever was in there.

"Don't do that." Matthew pulled the bag off and saw a hamburger in the bear's mouth. "A hamburger?"

Kumajirou swallowed it. Matthew looked at his bear and poked his stomach.

"Is it me or are you getting pudgy?"

The bear glared at him and walked off.

Matthew giggled to himself and went back to his shower.


	3. Chapter 3

*Ding Dong*

Matthew stops washing the dishes. He dries his hands and goes to the door.

"Hello?" He opens it and looks around. He looks down and found a bottle of vodka and a piroshki.

*Boing Boing*

Matthew hears the sound and looks immediately in that direction. All he sees are bushes. He shrugs and takes the food and bottle inside.

"That was so close!" Katyusha popped up from behind the bushes. She touches her heart to feel it racing.

"Sister, we cannot let Matvey see us!" Ivan pulls her down .

"I don't like how we have to sneak around to see him." She whined.

"We have to." Ivan comforts his sister. "Then we can do big surprise, da?"

She nodded.

Inside Matthew's house...

"Kumanunu, why do you think people are leaving me food?" Matthew asked as he split the piroshki. He put one on another plate for the bear.

Kumajirou ate it. "Dunno."

"I can't think of any reason why. I don't think it's a prank and there is nothing important that I know of, for people to do that." Matthew says.

The bear tried to eat the other half but Matthew slapped his paw away.

"That's it. You're going on a diet." Matthew said. "No more snacking and maple syrup for you."

"Nooo!" He wailed and then looks at him with a blank face. "Who are you again?"

"Now no more carbs for you." Matthew said angrily and started putting anything that could make the bear fatter on the higher shelves.

"Heh, ladder." Kumajirou chuckled under his breathe. He would wait until Matthew leaves then use a ladder to get food.

* * *

Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

*Ding Dong*

"Kumayamu! Go get the door!" Matthew yelled. He was busy at the moment. He was reorganizing his room and is currently moving a dresser and it was blocking the door.

The bear grumbled and got up from the couch and walked over to the door. He went up to his tip-toes and opened the door.

He opened up to a plant. He stared at it and looked around for food and grumbled when he couldn't find any. He took the pot in and put in on a table.

Matthew came into the room. "Who was it?"

"Stupid plant." Kumajirou responds and points at the plant.

Matthew smiled in surprise and happiness. "This..this is.." He held up the plant in high regard.

"Kumamana, don't disturb me for the next few hours, no actually the rest of the day. Food is in the fridge, don't overeat. Bye!" Matthew practically ran into his bedroom and locked it.

Kumajirou smiled and walked over to the refrigerator and took a whole tuna out. "What he doesn't know, won't hurt him."

* * *

Can you guess what the plant was and who left it? :D


	5. Chapter 5

*Ding Dong*

Matthew was too 'busy' at the moment. "Kumamari! Door!"

Kumajirou walked to the door mumbling "Hippie." under his breath. He opened the door and was happy to see food. A crepe and something that resembled rocks. He sniffed the 'rocks' and he made a bad face. He devoured the crepe and brought the nasty smelling 'rocks' in.

He held on to the plate and went to Matthew's room. He knocked and Matthew opened it.

"Who was it, Kumajane?" Matthew asked and saw the plate of food. "Scones?"

Matthew took the plate and smelt it and nearly gagged. "This is Arthur's, no mistake."

He then went to the kitchen and looked for the maple syrup. He opened is cabinet and found a half-full bottle. He took it and drenched it in syrup until the bottle was empty.

"This is how you eat scones." Matthew took a fork and knife and cut it into pieces.

"Scone-flavored syrup." Kumajirou commented on Matthew eating the scones.

Matthew noticed something peculiar on Kumajirou's mouth. It was pink. He wiped it off of the bear. He smelt the pink substance and then looks furiously at the bear.

"This is Papa's special jam! There was a crepe, wasn't there?"Mathew accused.

Kumajirou looks at him and shouts. "Look!"

Matthew looks behind him as Kumajirou makes his big escape.

"Kumafapi!" Matthew yelled, angrily. "Kumatata! You cannot escape from me!"

* * *

The big event will be up tomorrow. I swear on the awesomeness of Gilbert. (it's also my dog's name.)


	6. Chapter 6

*Ring Ring*

Matthew picks up the phone. "Hello?"

"Sir, it's terrible! There's a huge swarm of bees attacking downtown!" His subordinate yelled, frantically.

"Again? I'll be right there! Evacuate and block traffic! Also get some insecticide and get beekeepers!" Matthew orders. He gets his coat. He hangs up. "Kumabeda, watch the house and close the windows!" He leaves.

Matthew gets into his car and drives off. Kumajirou got up and stretched. He then went to check the windows. He first went to the kitchen and looked. It was all good. He noticed the back door unlocked. He tiptoed up to lock it and...

It swung open and knocked over the bear. The bear growled at whoever opened it. It was...

'"Who are you?" He said, thinking it looks like the usual guy but it can't be.

"I am the HERO!" Alfred poses.

"Freak." The bear shakes his head. This made Alfred a bit depressed.

"Okay, um, I'm Matthew's brother?"

"Who?"

"The guy who feeds you?" Alfred tries a last attempt.

"Ah, why you here?" Kumajirou glares at him.

"Surprise party! It's going to be totally epic!" Alfred said, excitedly.

There was rustling from the front than laughter was heard.

"Kesesese. First one here!"

"Nuh uh!" Alfred went to the living room and Kumajirou followed. "I got here first! How'd you get in?"

"The front door. Mattie was sick of me always breaking in so he gave me a key!"

"What?" Alfred whined. "How come I don't get a key? I had to go through the back before the bear locked it."

"Hi, drunk jerk." Kumajirou greeted the albino.

"Kesesese, did you get fatter, Knut II?"

Kumajirou gave him a dirty look and walked over to him and bit him.

"Gah!" Gilbert yelped in pain. Kumajirou let go and smirked at Gilbert.

"Kumajirou?"*Boing Boing* Katyusha said.

"Oh." Kumajirou was really happy and scurried to her. She lifts him up and hugs him.

"Kolkolkol. What are you two doing? If you don't hurry, bad things will start happening." Ivan said as he walked up behind his sister.

Gilbert paled and Alfred tried to be brave, but was shaking.

"Did..did you get the stuff?" Alfred stuttered but then bravely said.

Ivan holds up the bags. "How about on your end?"

Alfred holds up a bag of food. "Rest is in my truck. Come on we have to get the banners up."

"Where is Frenchie and his boytoy?"Gilbert commented.

"I am not his boytoy! You insufferable git!" Arthur screamed, holding a tray of undistinguishable food.

"You know you are, mon amor." Francis held onto two bags. "Chop chop, Matthieu will catch on when he sees no bees."

"Good point." Alfred said.

Kumajirou sat in a chair and watched them. Ivan and Katyusha got some chairs and stood on them to put up a banner that said "Happy Birthday, Matthew!"

Francis and Arthur took out the plates, napkins, and other settings out. Alfred got out the food and Gilbert started putting the chips in bowls and appetizers out.

Ivan then put his present on a table. Everyone else then proceeded to put their gifts on the table.

"So loser hero, who else did you call?" Gilbert asked him.

Alfred shrugs. "Everyone in this book thingy I swiped from him."

"Address book!" Arthur yelled out.

"Yeah, that. So people will be showing up soon, I think. Also they might think it's my birthday party, possibly." Alfred murmured at the end.

Gilbert pulled Alfred's shirt. "What? How could you do that to him?"

"I said possibly! Oh and the Asians might not come since it's Hong Kong b-day. " Alfred said. Gilbert shook his head and let him go.

"Just clear it up with them when they get here. Okay?" Gilbert said and left to get other stuff ready.

Alfred dusted himself and goes outside to get the grill ready.

The front door opens. "Sorry I'm late. I was doing stuff."

"Well make yourself useful Lars!" Arthur demanded. "Put some chairs in the backyard."

Lars nodded and went to do it.

In the next hour people started appearing in the house. Alfred was forced to greet each one by saying "Hi, thanks for coming. It's not my birthday. It's Matthew's. Please put gifts on the table and be ready to yell 'Surprise.'"

On Matthew's side of things...

"I can't believe it. There are no bees and traffic is backed up. Who the heck would fake a bee attack?" Matthew shook his head. He finally got out of a 2 hour traffic buildup.

He pulls up to his neighborhood. "Why are there so many cars out here?"

He looks around and goes into his driveway. "Did Kumaushi close the blinds?" He locks up his car and heads to the front door. He opens it and

"SURPRISE!" Everyone screamed.

Matthew stood there in shock. "What? What the? Why are you guys here?"

"It's your birthday, duh!" Gilbert called out.

"It is?" Matthew got his phone and looks at the date. "It is! Wow, I totally forgot." He laughs a little.

"Now come on, Mattie! Let's party!" Alfred puts on the radio and music streams the house.

Matthew dumbfound thanked everyone, he walked by for coming. He went up to Alfred.

"You did this?" Matthew gestured to the people.

"Yes I did." Alfred said grinning so widely at his baby brother, until he got whacked by Gilbert.

"No I did." The German declared. "I called you because I knew Mattie would like his family to be here."

"Well, I helped." Alfred whined.

Matthew smiled at them. "Well, thank you. But why did you guys leave food at my doorstep?"

"What? I thought I was the only one." Gilbert said, confused.

"Well, I thought it'd be good if I did it too. I saw you on the surveillance footage." Alfred pouted.

"What surveillance footage?" Matthew looks at Alfred suspiciously.

"Uh.."

"The one that is in the tree across from your house, also there's one right there and there." Ivan replied and pointed where the cameras are. "I was the one who told the others."

"Why do you know that!" Alfred asked, frightened. Matthew became really angry at Alfred.

"Because the security on those is weak." He commented. "Comrade Matvey, Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you Ivan. Can I please have a moment with my dear brother?"

Alfred's eyes widen and Ivan smiles in joy of Alfred's fear.

"Of course. Talk to you later." He leaves.

Matthew grabs Alfred's ear.

"Ow!" He yelps.

"Why do you have surveillance on me?"

"For your safety?"

"I can take care of myself. Thank you very much." Matthew tugged on his ear a bit harder. "Now I want those cameras gone, understood?"

"Yes." Alfred pathetically said.

"Good." Matthew lets go and smiles. "Well let's have a party, okay?"

Matthew headed towards the food table. There were sausages, chips, hot dog buns, crepes, piroshkis, suspicious looking brownies, even more suspicious looking goop and rock-like objects. For drinks, there was water, vodka, and a variety of sodas.

Alfred was in the backyard. "Hamburgers will be done soon."

An hour into the party, Matthew mingled around with his friends and family. He watched an argument between Alfred and Gilbert about who's more awesome. Neither won since Ivan said that they would all become one with him anyway. Matthew realized that Kumajirou was nowhere to be seen.

"Kumamada! Where are you?" He called out desperately.

"I think I saw him near the food table." Katyusha told him.

"Thank you." Matthew heads there and sees a white little lump of fur sticking out from underneath. He lifted the sheet up and sees the bear gorging on tons of food he swiped. The bear slowly looks behind him and sees Matthew. He tries to make a break for it but he was too big too move and kind of waddled a bit.

"I told you!" Matthew took the bear's feet and dragged him out. He lifted him up to see how heavy the bear has gotten. "I'd say you gained at least 20 pounds!"

The bear groaned.

"I'm going to make you exercise from now on. 3 miles everyday."

The bear was not happy.

Afterwards, the lights shut off and Francis came in with a large cake, at least 6 tiers. He was singing "Happy Birthday." People joined in and he wheeled over to Matthew.

"Happy Birthday, mon bebe. Now blow out your candles and make a wish." Francis smiled. Matthew blew out the candles and people cheered.

Francis cut out slices of cake and gave a really large piece to the birthday boy.

"Now Presents!" Gilbert screamed, and pulled Matthew to the present table. "Open mine first!"

Matthew set down the plate and opened up the present, it was a German Shepard plushie.

"Aw, it's so cute. Thank you Gilbert."

Gilbert grinned until he was pushed out of the way by Alfred.

"Open mine next!" Alfred grabbed the large box and gave it to his brother.

Matthew opened it and inside was loads of T-shirts with superhero insignias and movies of superheros. "Thank you?"

"This way you'll be like a hero just like me!"

It went on with the present opening. Katyusha got him a scarf that she knitted. It was red of course.

Arthur got him a sweater vest and Francis got him a maid outfit, that Matthew quickly hid from leering eyes.

Ivan got him something that made Gilbert and Alfred extremely jealous.

"This is beautiful! Ivan, I love you!" Matthew hugged the Russian and went back to adoring his new hockey stick that was the latest build and what people would call the king of all hockey sticks.

Other peoples' presents were a miscellaneous of gift cards and other cash gifts. Apparently a lot of them did think it was Alfred's birthday party, they just didn't say anything.

The party started dwindling down and a lot of people left to get ready for Alfred's birthday bash in a few days.

Everybody said their goodbyes to Matthew but one. Lars. He stayed behind wanting to give his gift in private.

"Matthew. Here you go." Lars handed him a plant and Matthew's eyes twinkled.

"Want to smoke it together? I'll force Kumamado to clean." Matthew suggested.

"You read my mind."

They went to Matthew's room for some privacy.

The now extremely plump bear was now looking at all the trash in dismay but went on to cleaning.

"This is your birthday present, who." He grumbled and sluggishly started cleaning.

* * *

I have a couple minutes before Canada day ends. Thank you for reading and being so supportive and patient. Sorry if it's a bit rushed. Happy Canada Day!


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